


I'm Always Here

by xocberry



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insomnia, Light Angst, M/M, Oneshot, a jookyun fic, brief because they arent my focus, cant sleep, changki, chapters, i had to keep, jookyun - Freeform, lots of fluff, my attempt at writing fluff, now it has, so if it feels rushed, understand that this is, well it was a oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-12-04 03:59:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11547048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xocberry/pseuds/xocberry
Summary: Changkyun can't sleep, so he calls Jooheon over.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jookyun makes me melt.
> 
>  
> 
> Cover by Gloss & Gloom Graphic Gallery on AsianFanFics.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jookyun fluff that takes place in bed. It's pure here, I swear.

It was another one of those nights when Changkyun woke to nothing but darkness. He reached over, blindly searching until his hand met with his phone. Checking the time, he sighed and groaned at how he barely managed to get an hour of sleep.

 

He woke up energetic, as if he had slept for hours, so falling back into his slumber was out of the options. 

 

Changkyun sat upright and, using the light of his phone, grabbed his laptop and headphones and pulled up a movie. 

 

He was tired physically, not mentally, so he didn’t care to determine what to watch. Instead, he just opened Netflix and clicked on the first movie he saw. 

 

Unbeknownst to him, he had accidentally chosen one of the other user’s profile rather than his own on their shared account and began watching a horror film. Too tired and invested in the movie to change it, Changkyun thought that maybe his avoidance of scary films was all for nothing. 

 

Big mistake.

 

An hour into the movie and Changkyun was nervously checking all corners of the room, lights on and phone in hand ready to call for emergency, more awake than earlier that night. 

 

His chances of rest were diminishing by the minute and Changkyun naturally dialed his best friend and neighbor when he heard a suspicious noise.

 

In less than five minutes, Jooheon burst into the scared boy’s room, face full of worry and concern for the “emergency” he was called over for. His alarm vanished as he pieced together the situation after noting what was on the computer screen and how the younger was standing on guard against any possible supernatural being.

 

Jooheon rolled his eyes and approached his friend. Putting a coaxing arm around the other, he sweetly dragged him back to the bed to sit and calm down.

 

“Why were you on Hoseok’s Netflix?” He asked with a chuckle, head nodding towards the lit up screen with an obviously fake murder scene. “You know you can’t handle anything remotely creepy, why did you watch one of the most iconic horror films of all time?”

 

Changkyun breathed, finally relaxed in his friend’s hold, feeling safe and protected. He nodded softly.

 

Jooheon couldn’t help but find the younger cute, especially in his oversized hoodie that he borrowed months ago and never returned. 

 

“It’s all fake. Made up. Fictional. Nothing’s gonna hurt you. Just go to sleep.” He tightened his grip around the other’s shoulders for reassurance.

 

“But I was watching the movie ‘cause I couldn’t sleep in the first place. I woke up after less than an hour, hyung. There’s no way I’ll be able to now. You know my insomnia’s getting worse these days.” Changkyun sighed as he reiterated his undesirable situation. “I’m tired, but I can’t sleep. It’s frustrating, hyung. What do I do?”

 

Jooheon ghosted a weak smile and hugged his friend. He felt guilty about momentarily forgetting about the younger’s condition. 

 

“Would it help if I stayed with you?” He offered.

 

Changkyun froze and seemingly withdrew into the hoodie as if it were a shell, unsure of how to respond. If he accepted, would things be awkward? _But Jooheon’s the one who said it._ If he said no, would he be able to sleep? _Jooheon was his sense of comfort, but isn’t this just being needy?_

 

“Um, I- You don’t hav-“ He was cut off by Jooheon forcibly lowering both of them to lie on the bed. “-to do this,” he added quietly.

 

“Don’t feel like your being pushy, Changkyun. Whenever you need me to come over, it’s no problem. You’re my best friend. You have been for as long as I can remember. So shush and close your eyes.”

 

Jooheon pulled the strings on Changkyun’s hood, squeezing it against his head, and pulled him into his arms, Changkyun’s face at his chest.

 

Feeling the surrounding warmth of Jooheon envelop him, Changkyun’s lids drew heavy and his breathing started to even out slowly. He could finally feel restful slumber take over him, hardly noticing movement as Jooheon got up to turn off the lights and put the laptop away (after exorcising the demons on the younger’s laptop, of course).

 

After returning to his place on the other’s bed with an arm wrapped around the younger in a tight embrace, Jooheon stared at the peaceful face in front of him. Using his free hand, he loosened the hood and lightly brushed away the hair covering the younger’s eyes, careful not to disturb his sleep.

 

Jooheon’s hand gently rested on Changkyun’s cheek, the sleeping boy subconsciously melted into his touch and the faintest of smiles was visible on the younger’s mouth. The older boy traced the shape of the lips with his thumb, memorizing the curves and softness beneath his touch. 

 

Changkyun, puppy-like and deeply asleep, shifted slightly towards Jooheon and quietly whimpered.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m still here,” the older whispered as he leaned in to press his lips against the younger’s forehead. 

 

Pulling him in closer, Jooheon tucked Changkyun beneath his chin and softly kissed the top of his head. 

 

“I’m always here,” he mumbled as he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> i love jookyun so much


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wuh-oh ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally just wrote this, so here ye go. (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ * ・゚✧* ・゚✧
> 
> I hope you like some light angst cuz stuff's about to go down. (not really, I just wanted to add some more characters, so why not build some angst? Don't worry tho, it will be short.)  
> heh. maybe. (◡‿◡✿)

Changkyun once again woke up to darkness, but this time, he sensed a familiarity in the lack of light surrounding him. He inched his head back a bit to take in the brightness from the window illuminating the face in front of him.

 

They had remained in nearly the same position as he had fallen asleep in. The only difference was the closer proximity that had practically melted the two together.

 

Deep in his slumber, Jooheon’s face was completely relaxed and, if not for the soft audible breathing, Changkyun would’ve thought he were dead.

 

He sighed as he pulled his arm out from Jooheon’s strong hold and laid a hand on the older’s warm bicep. Seeing that Jooheon wasn’t waking up from the movement in front of him, Changkyun turned around to press his back against the older one’s chest. 

 

Instinctively, Jooheon, asleep and most likely mid-dream, drew an arm and a leg around the younger who immediately regretted shifting positions.

 

Changkyun had initially hoped that his new angle would allow him to release himself from the tight hold so he could start getting ready for the day. 

 

Apparently not.

 

Surrendering, he let himself sink into his friend’s embrace. Cuddling and skinship between the two was nothing new. Many sleepless nights were cured by Jooheon’s hugs, and Changkyun was thankful for the comfort he found in the boy. 

 

Lucky enough to be neighbors and best friends, he would call Jooheon over when he had insomnia or, like the previous night, got scared. 

 

In return, Jooheon would make Changkyun help him with housework. Well, more like Jooheon would play video games while the younger slaved over chores the older would instruct him to do. 

 

Changkyun didn’t mind. He already felt like he was asking for too much when he would persistently wake his friend at obscene hours of the night to make him leave the comfort of his own bed. 

 

Sometime amidst Changkyun’s noisy thoughts, Jooheon woke silently. Before his eyes opened, he sensed the younger had changed position. 

 

Deciding to play a little, Jooheon closed his eyes, feigning sleep, and squeezed the younger tightly, his face squished into the back of the other’s head. Changkyun squirmed for a bit but once again relaxed into the older’s arms.

 

Enjoying the subtle scent of his best friend, Jooheon nuzzled into his hair and cracked a smile. It was mornings like these that brought him happiness. He adored his neighbor and felt lucky that _he_ was one of the sources of comfort for Changkyun.

 

Recognizing that the older had woken up, Changkyun turned back around to face him once again. He captured the other’s soft gaze and put a hand on the cheek before him. 

 

Leaning in until their foreheads were touching, the younger said, “Are you gonna release me yet? I have a schedule to follow today.”

 

Jooheon pulled his body even closer and mumbled, “But when else can I hold you like this?” He playfully wiggled his eyebrows before letting go of the laughing, struggling, and groaning boy. 

 

“But what plans do you even have? When do you ever leave your house?” Jooheon added curiously as Changkyun stood up and stretched his back. 

 

“Well…um… I’m just meeting a friend. From high school. For a bit,” Changkyun muttered before stripping off his hoodie, revealing his bare, built torso.

 

That was Jooheon’s cue to leave. When Changkyun was evasive, Jooheon knew it best not to pry.

 

_Yet._

 

“Okay, then. Have fun and don’t be out too late,” he joked as if he was Changkyun’s parent and walked out the door, letting himself out of the house he’s been in countless times before.

 

Once the door shut, Changkyun let out an audible breath he didn’t notice he was holding. How could he tell Jooheon he was going on a date with an upperclassman from his old high school he met not too long ago? _And a boy, at that._

 

Changkyun knew Jooheon wouldn’t judge him for being bisexual, but he had no idea how to tell his best friend who (more than) occasionally holds him while he sleeps. Would things get _really_ awkward? 

 

He felt bad for once again shutting Jooheon out from his truth, but no matter what, he wanted to preserve their friendship. And more than that, he wanted Jooheon to keep coming over to help him calm down on those sleepless nights filled with anxiety and occasionally blankness.

 

Checking his phone for the first time that morning, Changkyun swore under his breath, freaking out. He threw on some clothes from what he chose the night prior and ran out the door.

 

“Shit, I’m already so late,” he grumbled as he raked his fingers through his thick, brown hair, attempting his best to look presentable. Feeling guilty, he slowly approached the small, practically vacant coffee shop. 

 

He wasn’t surprised when he couldn’t find his date. _Probably thought I stood him up,_ he thought solemnly. 

 

“How do I explain later?” Changkyun whispered to himself, trying to conjure up some sort of explanation besides “I woke up late after sleeping with my best friend.” Because that could be interpreted in many ways that would lead to heavy misunderstandings and drama he did not want to deal with. 

 

Taking a deep breath, Changkyun turned on his heels to exit the cafe, practically bulldozing into someone of similar, if not the same, height as him. Thankfully his eyes were still scanning the place as he turned to left or he would’ve assaulted the poor guy with his lips. 

 

Blushing flustered, he swiftly apologized and rushed out the door without even seeing the guy’s face.

 

“Wait, Changkyun!” The boy blurted as he grabbed his arm to stop him from running away. 

 

“Kihyun?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been listening to EXO's new album for the entire day. It's lit.
> 
> Talk to me in the comments~  
> Who's your OTP?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alert: angst kinda ahead.

Eleven hours…It had been eleven hours since Changkyun left and if “meeting a friend” was the only thing on his agenda, it was taking _way_ too long. 

 

Jooheon paced around his own bedroom, glancing out the window at the darkened house next door. He waited and waited as the hours passed by for his friend to return home. 

 

“What the hell kind of social life does he have that I don’t know about?” Jooheon grumbled as he kicked a sock he discovered on his floor. 

 

Another hour came and went and it was already 11pm. There was no sign of the younger. 

 

Jooheon considered calling him over and over but hesitated each time, worried to anger his friend who was probably just out having fun.

 

_Without him._

 

Jealousy was something foreign to Jooheon, mainly due to how inseparable the two generally were. Changkyun’s evasiveness mixed with lack-of-coming-home-at-a-decent-hour were bringing out a new side of Jooheon that _Jooheon_ didn’t even know about. 

 

Twelve and a half hours after Changkyun’s initial departure, the boy returned home. Jooheon nearly jumped out of his window to harass his friend with questions when he noticed someone with him.

 

He felt slightly creepy, staring at the two from behind the window in his room, but Jooheon couldn’t help but stalk his neighbor. Never before had Changkyun brought a friend (other than Jooheon, of course) over to his house. 

 

The ugly fire within Jooheon burned ablaze but was immediately put out when he witnessed his friend wave goodbye to the stranger and walked into his house.

 

_Alone._

 

To Jooheon’s surprise, a wave of relief washed over him as he watched the stranger fade into the distance. He discerned his odd behavior as worry over the possibility of the younger making reckless decisions. 

 

At that moment, he wanted to go over to the other’s place and bombard him with questions while holding him like he did the previous night. It was so comfortable to have Changkyun in his arms, like a child’s favorite stuffed animal.

 

Deciding against it, Jooheon got ready for bed, turned off the lights, and laid in complete darkness and silence, enveloped in his racing thoughts.

 

Maybe another hour or two passed and Jooheon was in a strange half-asleep yet half-awake state of consciousness. _I wonder if this is what Changkyun deals with,_ he thought. 

 

Bringing himself into nearly a fully conscious state of mind, he called Changkyun, not caring about the time or whether or not the younger was able to sleep that night.

 

On the third ring, the other end picked up, drowsiness evident in his voice. “Jooheon. _What?_ ” 

 

“Can’t sleep. I wonder if you passed your curse onto me last night. Come over,” Jooheon instructed.

 

The phone went silent for a moment before Changkyun grunted in affirmation. “I’ll be…right over.”

 

Within four minutes, the boy entered Jooheon’s room, pillow in hand. Changkyun knew that Jooheon liked living as minimally as possible. Less objects to grow attached to, less sentimental feelings. He enjoyed simplicity and loving the few things he had of his own.

 

There were a few awards for rap competitions he entered in high school, along with a small stuffed animal he received from his parents years ago before he left home. Other than those and a few other things Changkyun couldn’t recall, his house was very minimal. 

 

To the point where Jooheon only had one small pillow for his bed. For a guy with an extremely soft and adorable side, he practically slept on a rock. A hard bed and hardly a pillow. 

 

Changkyun was _not_ looking forward to laying on that brick that night, the one night he was finally able to fall asleep on his own. He cursed under his breath.

 

“Whaaat?” Jooheon playfully dragged out, moving backwards and opening his arms to make room for the younger.

 

His friend approached with slight hesitation, which Jooheon decided to ignore, and fitted himself against the older’s warm body after placing his pillow under his head.

 

“Ahhh. I think I can sleep now,” Jooheon cooed with a yawn, snuggling into Changkyun. 

 

“I can’t,” the younger muttered.

 

“Then switch,” he replied as he withdrew his arms and turned his back to Changkyun. He then grabbed the younger’s arms and placed them around himself. Lowering himself down the bed, he tucked his head beneath Changkyun’s chin, mirroring their position from that morning. Just this time, Changkyun and Jooheon changed places.

 

Changkyun tightened his arms around his friend and buried his face in the hair in front of him. He could tell Jooheon had showered recently with the sweet scent he inhaled. As if it were a magic potion or sleeping gas, Changkyun found himself once again drowsy, slipping into a state of slumber.

 

Jooheon felt the younger’s slow and even breathing down his neck. Careful not to stir him in his sleep, Jooheon took hold of his best friend’s relaxed hand, interlacing their fingers.

 

“Stay. Don’t leave me. This is where you belong,” he softly begged as a tear escaped his eye. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwwwwww. Poor Jooheon, bby.  
> I made this so dramatic idk why.  
> My heart hurts for him even though I put him in this situation. （┬┬＿┬┬）
> 
> But why was Changkyun with Kihyun for so long???  
> Subscribe and you'll find out. ( *ˊᵕˋ)
> 
> (jk you don't need to subscribe. I'm asking too much lol)


	4. UPDATE: a song? omg pls

So while I was writing the previous chapter (ch. 3), my Jooheon feels overwhelmed me to the point where I had to write a quick song from his perspective. 

I know he's a rapper, but I can't rap, sadly.（┬┬＿┬┬）

So a song it is.

 

I threw it on my Soundcloud, so if you want to take a listen, please do so!

The cover photo is of Jookyun. *wink wink* You don't wanna miss out on that, do you? lololol. (´∀｀)

 

I recommend you open the following link in a new tab (it doesn't automatically do that here on AO3).

[Click for my Soundcloud](https://soundcloud.com/xoxoberry/im-always-here-short-ver). (I swear it's not spam or a virus lol.)

 

**Lyrics:**

_I promise I’ll always be there for you_

_I’ll always be there like air_

_Whenever you need to breathe_

_I’m there_

 

_But sometimes the air gets too thin_

_You can’t help but stop and have to_

_Catch your breath because_

_Your mind is driving you restless_

_On nights you can’t sleep, know that_

_I’m always here for you_

_I'm always here for you_

  

I wrote it in like 10 minutes but it took about 40 to record because people kept talking in the background...and putting dishes away. 

And clarification for the "air" parts and possible contradiction between the two lines: he's always there  _like_ how air is practically always there, not that he  _is_ air. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's some quality music to go along with this fluffy, angsty Jookyun goodness.
> 
> Leave comments 'cause I'm insecure and I need moral support. lol thanks. <3


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changki's "first date"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN JOOKYUN'S NEW MIXTAPE (BeMyFriend). It brings me life.

The following days consisted of Changkyun avoiding Jooheon. As much as Changkyun wanted to have Jooheon over on the nights he couldn't sleep, his morals got in the way of dialing his friend’s number.

 

Changkyun’s first date went rather well even though it hardly went as planned. 

 

First of all, he went with a different person than he was supposed to. As he had predicted, Wonho felt stood up when Changkyun didn’t show to the date, so he left and practically blocked Changkyun on all possible platforms, leaving no room for apologies or excuses. 

 

However, when leaving the cafe, Changkyun ran into an old friend of his from a summer music program the two both participated in a few years back. 

 

A few cups of coffee and hours of talking later, Changkyun and Kihyun caught up with each other. The younger listened to exciting stories from abroad and all over Korea about the other’s thriving success as a ballad singer. He wasn’t being promoted as an idol (to “preserve the raw ‘realness’ of his art”), so he was known to only a limited audience. 

 

Changkyun always loved to hear the older sing and write songs during that summer and was genuinely ecstatic for the young singer. They looked up videos on Changkyun’s phone and the younger was in awe. Not only had the other improved vocally, there was an upgraded passion and depth to the songs and recordings. 

 

Thoroughly enjoying his time with the black haired boy, Changkyun asked the older if he wanted to go elsewhere and hang out some more. The older cheerfully nodded his head and suggested, “Do you want to see my recording studio? It’s just down the street from here. I’m actually on break right now. You can watch me work and then we can do something afterward.”

 

The younger smiled in affirmation. “That’d be great,” he gleefully said as the other took hold of his hand to lead him to his workplace. 

 

The building was small and a bit run-down on the outside, but the interior was sleek and modern. Walls were lined with plaques and records of previous solo artists, some of whom Changkyun had listened to on occasion but wasn’t familiar with. 

 

His eyes followed the display until landing on an empty space labelled “Yoo Kihyun.” 

 

Kihyun noticed and smiled bashfully, “That’s for when I take the next win. Since our record is small, they rank the artists here by how many album sales each makes. My first album is about to be released, and I already have quite a following, so the company heads are expecting ‘great things’ from my sales. They already assume I will be this month’s top ranked artist here.”

 

Changkyun reached for Kihyun’s hand and gave it a light squeeze. “That’s amazing, Kihyun! I’ll for sure buy your album and help promote you to those at my college. I really think you’ll do well. Sorry to add to the expectations, but from what I’ve heard, I fully believe in your abilities.”

 

Kihyun noticeably blushed and thanked the younger, subconsciously interlacing fingers. 

 

The older led them both to the third floor and down a hallway, releasing hands as he went to open the door to the studio. 

 

Changkyun gasped softly as his eyes filled with all of the latest recording and mixing technology. He once had dreams of being part of a studio like this, recording his raps and occasional songs while also helping to produce other rising and upcoming artists. 

 

Nothing really seemed to work out for the boy, so he quickly gave up on his dream and continued his education, majoring in who knows what. He didn’t care, as long as he got his degree. 

 

Someone once told him that if he had that, life would be somewhat easier. So he followed what the professors and advisors at the college recommended him to do. No complaints, no source of individuality.

 

He was just living.

 

But seeing Kihyun here, glowing with happiness and passion for his work, awakened the lost dreams within Changkyun.

 

As instructed, he sat on the couch in the studio while Kihyun stepped into the sound booth, taking a swig of water to hydrate and prepare his voice. 

 

Recording didn’t take as long as expected, but it also didn’t go by in a breeze. A few hours passed by and Changkyun was lulled to a half-conscious state, trying to stay awake to hear his friend’s countless efforts to record to perfection. 

 

After half the tracks for his new album were recorded and finalized (still raw but ready for remastering), Kihyun was allowed to go home for the evening. 

 

Noticing the near-asleep boy on the couch, the older smiled to himself and crouched down before him. He trailed his hand lightly over the younger’s cheek and jawline as he whispered that he was finished and it was time to go.

 

Changkyun opened his eyes, blinking away the tiredness, to see Kihyun’s face in close proximity. He smiled goofily and chuckled, getting up. 

 

Kihyun asked Changkyun how far away he lived and, without getting a coherent response, dragged the boy to the parking lot and pushed him into the passenger side of his car. They sat for a bit until the younger came to his senses. 

 

“Are you still having issues sleeping these days?” Kihyun asked with a slight laugh. 

 

“I don’t know. It’s on and off,” he replied, not mentioning the neighbor who cures his insomnia from time to time.

 

They arrived at the younger’s house at around 11:30pm and before Changkyun could open the car door, Kihyun grabbed his hand and pulled him close, planting a light kiss on the boy’s lips. 

 

Flustered, Changkyun squirmed in his seat. “W-w-what are you doing?”

 

“I liked you during that summer program who knows how long ago and I’ve always wanted to do that,” he confessed, leaning in for a second one.

 

Changkyun ghosted a smile and looked up at the older. “Oh. Well, um. Do you wanna go out again when you’re free this week?”

 

“Can I consider today our first date?”

 

~ 

 

After that night, Changkyun found himself now dating Kihyun and feeling an unfamiliar sense of guilt each and every time Jooheon reached out to him. He stayed up most nights, ignoring his phone, pretending he was cured of his insomnia. 

 

All he wanted was to have Jooheon over, but his happiness with Kihyun weighed down on him, leaving the boy a conflicted mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my. Not Jookyun this time??? Don't worry. There's more Jookyun fluff on its way. This is just a little sunshiny storm blowing over our main ship.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the heck? this oneshot ended up becoming a drama. :o

“I can’t sleep. I need you, hyung,” Changkyun whispered through the phone, hand gripping his chest, holding back his tears. Another nightmare, another restless sleep.

 

He noted the time was somewhere between three and four but knew his friend would come. _Even if it had been weeks since they last spoke._

 

Changkyun suffered through his insomnia alone while he was dating Kihyun, but this time was too much. He couldn’t stand to be alone. Not tonight. 

 

He considered calling his boyfriend but figured that he shouldn’t bother the singer whose album is coming out in just a few days. They’d actually been spending some time apart the past few days to avoid any possible scandals (which could happen due to his small but powerful and dedicated fanbase), but their relationship was stronger than ever.

 

Changkyun still had yet to mention anything about Jooheon to the boy, though.

 

When Jooheon woke to his phone ringing Changkyun’s distinct ringtone, he jolted out of bed as the younger spoke softly on the line. He could hardly register the words when he was out the door and making his way swiftly across to his neighbor’s door. 

 

He used his own spare key Changkyun gave him who knows how long ago and unlocked the front door. Locking it behind him, he rushed to the frightened boy’s side, finding him sitting upright with his knees tucked in, turning into a ball each time he sunk into his own tight grip.

 

The older’s heart ached at the sight. He wondered how Changkyun was holding up for the past few weeks and there was slight hope that he was finally okay. 

 

But seeing that the boy was definitely not okay worried Jooheon into thinking he had messed up last time they were together, causing the younger to break off contact.

 

Shaking off his thoughts (because now was not the time for thinking), Jooheon closed the distance between the two and sat behind Changkyun, placing the younger between his legs and wrapping his arms around the human ball.

 

“Shh, shh. I’m here. Just breathe, my love,” he cooed like a caring mother. He pressed his face against Changkyun’s shoulder and used one hand to comb through the younger’s hair in a relaxing manner. Over the years, Jooheon learned certain methods to soothe the anxiety-filled insomniac. 

 

When they first met, Changkyun's parents were still around and both boys were in high school. At that time, they hardly ever interacted. Though they lived adjacent to one another, the boys knew nothing of the other. 

 

Their friends, hobbies, skills, love lives, there wasn’t anything that they knew. They only familiarized themselves with the name, voice, and face of each other, thinking that was the only thing necessary between the two.

 

But in their last year of high school, Jooheon heard the news that Changkyun’s mother passed away and his father couldn’t stand to raise the child alone, deciding that since the boy was practically an adult, he could live alone and receive money on occasion for financial support.

 

Other than that, he was completely abandoned.

 

Jooheon’s parents were quite free-willed and let their son live alone throughout high school and on because he wanted to attend school with his “rap-crew” friends, which happened to be too far to commute to from his parents’ home. So a few weeks after he found out about his neighbor’s tragedy, he invited himself over to console the boy.

 

Their time together that first time hanging out consisted of video games and far too many cans of soda. Feeling sick, the boys ended up crashing, one on the living room couch, the other on the floor.

 

Some time that night, Jooheon woke with a start, eyes wide in search of what stirred him from his slumber. His gaze fell upon the younger, who was trembling and appeared as a young deer caught in the headlights of a car heading straight for him.

 

Naturally, Jooheon crept closer and rested his hand on the boy’s leg, tracing soft circles on his knee with his thumb. 

 

“Hey, Changkyun. You alright?”

 

In response, the boy leaned in and pulled the older one in for a much needed hug. “Please, I need this right now. I don’t have anyone. They abandoned me. I have no one,” he cried weakly.

 

Jooheon lifted the boy up from the ground and started in the direction of what he remembered to be the younger’s room from his first time in the house.

 

“It's no problem. I don’t really have anyone with me right now, though our situations are quite different. But don’t worry. I’m here for you. I’m always just next door, so call me whenever your having problems,” he offered as he held his newfound friend next to him on the soft bed. 

 

“I’m always on your side, okay? No matter what, I’m here. I’m always here. Believe me, Changkyun. I won’t ever leave you. You’re now my best friend, got it?” Jooheon continuously spoke to the other while stroking his hair and holding him close, hoping that his efforts in calming the boy were effective.

 

He felt successful as he noticed his friend’s eyes closing and breaths evening out. 

 

Since that moment, Jooheon took it to himself to always protect this boy. 

 

Even though it had been weeks since they last saw each other, Jooheon’s touch still worked like magic. Changkyun smiled and relaxed into the embrace. He released his own legs, setting them down in front of him, and placed his hands atop Jooheon’s.

 

The older paused his hair combing and took hold of the hand above his, bringing it down to his mouth. He breathed softly on their hands for a moment before planting a small kiss on the back of the younger’s hand. 

 

Distracting the boy, he pulled both of his legs to one side of Changkyun and laid both of them down on the bed. Still holding hands, he continued to press kisses along the boy’s knuckles and down to the inside of his wrist. 

 

He paused, lips lightly brushing against the skin. 

 

“Don’t ever forget our promise,” he whispered.

 

Changkyun this time turned around to face Jooheon and draped an arm over the older boy. Nuzzling into the crevice of the other’s neck, Changkyun murmured, “It’s overwhelming. It’s too difficult. I don’t know what to do, but thank you,” before losing himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bittersweeeeet


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misunderstandings lead to unhappy feelings...but they can also lead to realizations of unnoticed feelings that have been hidden all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh

Following Jooheon’s return to Changkyun’s side, the two were once again inseparable, as if the past few weeks hadn’t happened. 

 

The younger found himself subconsciously dialing his neighbor’s number every night that week, either to just talk or invite him over. Returning to their first year as best friends, they played video games until passing out and ate instant ramyun like it was the only food on the planet.

 

They laughed and relished in each other’s company. Changkyun had no worries of suffering from his insomnia as Jooheon was always by his side. His sense of comfort. His anchor.

 

One day, the older boy had to return home to visit his parents. He had invited Changkyun to come along, knowing that his parents would accept him and love him with open arms, but the younger declined politely saying that he had already made plans.

 

He had a long awaited date with Kihyun.

 

Once Jooheon left, Changkyun began preparing himself for his outing. Freshly showered, the boy put him in an outfit he hoped would impress the young star and even put some moisturizer on his face, something he knew a lot of people did but never tried for himself. 

 

He felt like this extra effort would make today a bit more special than he was feeling. The boy hadn’t seen his boyfriend for quite some time, yet he didn’t really feel that old excitement that he used to just two weeks ago. 

 

Something changed, he just didn’t know what.

 

While he waited for Kihyun to come pick him up, the boy playfully looked up his boyfriend on the search engine. _Just how popular of a singer is he?_ he thought to himself as he typed in the name Yoo Kihyun, followed by “singer.”

 

To his surprise, recent articles began popping up. A number of them, too. _Wasn’t he from a small company?_

 

The titles screamed scandal to Changkyun whose heart began racing and blood turned cold. He didn’t want to pry, but Kihyun ~~was~~   _is_ his boyfriend, so he has the right to know. Right?

 

Regrettably, he clicked on the first title he saw. _Is this the right Yoo Kihyun? Why does it say he’s dating Seola? Who is she?_ The more Changkyun read, the more confused he became.

 

Ten minutes before Kihyun was supposed to arrive at the younger’s house, Changkyun received a message.

 

** Kihyunnie-hyung: **

_ Srry. Can’t make it today. :/ _

_ Smth came up. _

_ How about Tuesday? _

 

“Do you think I don’t use the internet? Why aren’t you telling me about that girl?” he said out loud as he typed his response.

 

_ Sounds good. I’m actually not feeling that well. _

_ I think I need to rest more.  _

_ Stayed up too late playing games again. _

_ ¯\\_( ツ )_/¯ _

 

** Kihyunnie-hyung: **

_ lolololol _

_ Take care of your health, my dear. _

_ I need you strong and well. _

_ We gotta go on our date soon. _

_ I miss you.  ♡ _

 

With a semi-bitter sigh, Changkyun replied:

 

_ mhm _

 

He powered off his phone for the rest of the day.

 

It wasn’t that he was utterly upset with his boyfriend for cheating. He was concerned over the fact that he was more relieved than anything. His relationship with Jooheon wasn’t anything normal. But they weren’t romantically involved.

 

Changkyun felt a slight pang in his chest.

 

Unsure of the cause, he brushed it off. _Maybe I’m eating too poorly lately. When was the last time I saw a vegetable…or fruit…or anything not ramyun. Oh. That explains a lot._

 

And with that, he was off to the nearby grocery store.

 

On his short walk back to his house from the food mart, he caught a glimpse of what seemed to be his boyfriend. 

 

With “Seola” or whatever her name was. Once again. Arms linked.

 

The boy noticed the other meet his gaze from opposite the crosswalk. Arm immediately detaching from the woman beside him. He pulled out his phone to text the younger, only to realize he had no intentions of answering.

 

With light signaling for them to cross, Changkyun kept his head down, not wanting to acknowledge his “boyfriend.” As they walked past each other, the older said in a hushed yet urgent tone, “It isn’t what it seems. I’ll stop by tonight to explain.”

 

The younger picked up speed as tears began to form. _Is it a misunderstanding or is he gonna lie to my face this time? I’d take silence over anything._

 

_I won’t let myself be abandoned again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> of course these things happen when the poor boy is left alone  
> LOL
> 
>  
> 
> And yes, I chose Seola from WJSN bc she's part of YTeen with Monsta X. That was my only reason. I do not ship them (Seola and Kihyun). Idk if they even interact irl. I don't really even know WJSN that well either. Just needed a female who wouldn't be as random as like Hwasa from Mamamoo. lol 
> 
>  
> 
> Bittersweet, but guess what? JOOKYUN INCOMING~


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stuff's going DOWN

“Changkyun, wake up. Changkyun, someone’s here. Wake up, sleepy head,” Jooheon rubbed little patterns on the younger’s shoulder, unsure if he should stir him from his deep slumber.

 

After wasted efforts, Jooheon got up from behind the other and headed for the front door. 

 

“Changkyun, I'm sorr-- Who are you?” the visitor asked abruptly, something clouding his eyes as his brows scrunched to form a full-faced frown. He was clearly not pleased to see Jooheon answer the door.

 

“No, who are _you?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH OH. :O
> 
> I'm so sorry for this. It seems weird and out of place, but next chapter will explain. ;)
> 
> Wait another 12 hours or so. I'm going to sleep.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changkyun opens up to a stranger, closes down with someone he knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> previous chapter was around 80 words...this one is LONG, i tell you.  
> Maybe grab some tissues? idk

_-1 WEEK EARLIER-_

 

Reading about his boyfriend’s girlfriend online was completely different than seeing them together in person. Gripping his groceries in one hand and wiping away escaped tears with the other, Changkyun sped walked back to his house.

 

Once in the safety of his own home, the boy finally pulled himself together for the most part and numbly made himself some “healthy” food. Basically anything that wasn’t instant ramyun.

 

He prepared his meal but didn’t touch it.

 

Instead, he trudged over to the couch in the living room and fell face forward onto it. He groaned before curling into a ball, the position he found himself in when faced with an internal conflict.

 

He laid there for hours in silence, neither awake nor asleep. Just there. Existing. On his couch, food untouched in the kitchen, phone still off in the other room.

 

The boy had disconnected himself from the world temporarily and had no inkling of a desire to return. 

 

But then he recalled what the other had said in passing earlier that day. Something about it being a misunderstanding and that he’d stop by…tonight. _Oh shit. He could be here any minute now. Fuck._

 

Changkyun shot up from the couch and noticed the food. _When did I make that? Where’s my phone. Oh shit shit shit SHIT._

 

After cleaning up the food in the kitchen, he ran to the bathroom to rinse his face with water and try to appear human after feeling like a ghost. _I look awful._ He sighed just as he heard a knock on the door.

 

Taking a deep breath to collect himself, he started for the door. Opening it, he was faced with, not his boyfriend, but a cheerful delivery woman. “I have a package for your neighbor, Mr. Lee Jooheon, but it seems he’s not in at the moment. I saw that it had a note saying to give it to you, Im Changkyun, if he was unavailable. Can you sign for it?”

 

Bewildered with a hint of relief, he gladly signed and accepted his best friend’s mail. 

 

“Thanks a lot. I’m new on the job and was told that if I miss just one order today, they’ll cut back my pay,” she laughed nervously.

 

“I don’t think that’s right…Why would they do that? Isn’t that illegal?”

 

“Not sure,” she shrugged. “I just gotta make some money to support my son’s cram school classes. He’s practically a top student. I’m so proud,” she glowed.

 

“You must be,” he smiled for what seemed like the first time in a while. He felt broken and as if something was missing. Until this lady’s gleeful attitude spread onto him. “You know, I was having a pretty messed up day. I’m kinda glad you stopped by, even if it was just to deliver a box and do your job.” 

 

“Your smile is pretty contagious,” he added shyly. “Your son is lucky to have you as a mom.”

 

Noticing the loneliness in his voice, the woman rested a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

 

“You should know that your heart is made of gold. I’ve met you for approximately four minutes and I can already tell that you are a wonderful young man. Don’t let things bring you down, okay? This Jooheon person seems to trust you if all his mail is redirected here when he isn’t there to collect it himself. Is he your friend?”

 

“Mhm,” he mumbled in agreement.

 

“Then keep him. Keep all your friends and treat them well. Don’t take others for granted because you never know when you’ll need them the most. You shouldn’t live in fear and let your past haunt you. I don’t know what happened, but I can tell you have scars all over your golden heart.”

 

Changkyun stood in silence, allowing time for the woman’s words to sink in.

 

“Oh shoot! I’m rambling, sorry. I have to get to my next delivery. Here’s the card for my day job. I own a small bakery not too far from here. Stop by if you ever want to talk. You could even meet my son! He’s just about finished with high school,” she spoke in a rush as she handed him a cute business card with an interesting croissant design. 

 

Before turning back to her mail truck, she offered the boy a sweet, caring smile and was on her way.

 

Changkyun’s legs couldn’t carry him any longer and gave way, letting him sink down to the floor. Jooheon’s box in hand, he sat looking out his front door for a moment.

 

_How did she know?_ He hadn’t felt any type of motherly love since his mom passed away. He even rejected any care from Jooheon’s mother, fearing that it was only out of pity for the “boy who lost both parents in less than five months.” 

 

If only he had accepted his friend’s offer that morning. If only he had gone to visit Jooheon’s family with him. _Then none of this mess would’ve happened._

 

“Changkyun? What are you doing on the doorstep?” The younger fell out of his daze with the arrival of his boyfriend. 

 

“Oh. Kihyun.”

 

“I can’t stay for long, but let me explain what’s going on.”

 

“What’s there to explain? You can’t be with me in public, so your showing off your _female_ girlfriend while keeping me in the shadows.”

 

“Whoa there. That’s about half right, but not because I want it or _choose_ it to be that way. The company knows I’m not straight and they know I’m with you. Have you heard of a singer or idol coming out as gay to the general public? The only one ended up with a ruined career and screwed up life. I can’t debut my first album being torn down by raging homophobics and anti-fans.”

 

“Then why not just debut without a relationship in general? Why does Seola have to be in the picture? Why can’t you just be like all other stars and not publicly date?”

 

“She’s well known. She’s an actual idol. I’m just a singer that hardly anyone knows.”

 

“So you’re using her fame to build your own,” Changkyun finalized, lips in a tight line.

 

Kihyun fell silent for a moment before clearing his throat awkwardly. “Not exactly.”

 

“Not exactly what?”

 

“We did go on a date once a few weeks ago. I admit it. I’m happy with you. Totally happy. But I also wanted to see if I still felt some sort of attraction towards girls. I know that’s an awful excuse, but it was on an impulse. Then we got caught by her paparazzi.”

 

“And it was uploaded to online idol news sites and became an issue. So you decided to keep at it,” Changkyun rolled his stinging eyes. 

 

“After that one date, we both agreed that we were nothing more than friends. Nothing happened. It was just like hanging out with a sibling. But her company didn’t want her to look easy by going on dates with different guys, and mind didn’t want the press digging into my background and finding dirt on you.”

 

“Ah, so this was all for me? Huh? Gee, I’m so flattered. My boyfriend thinks so much of me,” his words were laced with sarcasm and poison. His only defense.

 

Kihyun took a breath before continuing. “We’re just hanging out in the media’s eye before staging a ‘break up,’” he used air quotes around the word. “You’re still the only one for me, Changkyun. Believe me. I love you.”

 

“I’m not sure about anything anymore. I don’t wanna be with you for now. I can’t deal with this. It’s too much. Maybe after a while we can be friends?”

 

“Changkyun, no. Please don’t do this to me. I didn’t even cheat-“

 

“You had the initial intention to.”

 

“Please. I beg you. Please forgive me,” he pleaded as he grabbed the younger’s hand.

 

“I’ll forgive you, but I don’t want you back. Please leave.”

 

He closed the door, locking it behind him before sliding down and crying softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 kudos/comment = 4 hugs for changkyun
> 
> guess who's NOT coming for bby's rescue? #jooheon.  
> sorry, i just need changkyun to be strong himself and not fully rely on his true love
> 
> next chapter is gonna be sweet  
> the chapter following the next is gonna catch up to present time (jooheon and kihyun's meeting)
> 
> GET READY~


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun finds comfort in something other than Jooheon for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's a L O N G one. but I think it's cute.

Two days passed and Changkyun finally decided to leave his house. He felt hollow from sleep deprivation and lack of eating. Jooheon also hadn’t returned and wouldn’t for at least another few days. 

 

The older rarely saw his parents anymore, so his visits would typically end up lasting about a week. Changkyun considered calling his friend for comfort, but he decided against it, knowing that he would then have to give context to the older boy. And context meant having to talk about Kihyun. His (ex-) boyfriend. 

 

That wasn’t going to happen.

 

Still in the same clothes from the break up, Changkyun reached into his pants pocket for the small business card. _Maybe she’ll be there today,_ he thought.

 

With purpose of meeting with the gentle woman, the boy showered and changed his clothes before looking up the location of the bakery. _A fifteen minute walk. Maybe that’ll help clear my mind._

 

So the boy headed for the shop.

 

Upon his arrival, he noticed a familiar warmth and friendliness surrounding the bakery. The bakery and the woman had identical auras. He instantly felt comforted just by the building. Whether the lady was there or not seemed less important to the boy then. He felt at ease regardless and found his “safe haven” that wasn’t Jooheon. 

 

Not that anything could rival the sense of relaxation he found when with his best friend.

 

“Welcome- Oh! It’s Changkyun! Come in. Please sit,” the amicable woman eased her initial surprise and seated the boy with a glass of water. “What can I get for you?”

 

“I don’t think this is the kind of place for waitressing,” Changkyun joked, noting the vibe of the small store. “But I’ll take a coffee,” he offered with a genuine smile that felt foreign on his face.

 

“I’ll be right back,” she mused sweetly before heading towards the counter to shout, “Lee Chan! One coffee and one cappuccino! You better make them quick or no pay!”

 

Changkyun was somewhat shocked by her sudden change in character.

 

“That’s my son, Chan. He’s talented in a lot of things, but that makes him lazy. He thinks he can just do whatever he wants since he’s so great.” She laughed while rolling her eyes. Changkyun could tell how much the woman adored her son despite what she was saying. 

 

“He’s still in school, but I’m having him work here on days off and just whenever he has free time. Of course he still has time for fun and studying. He just has to earn his keep and help me here and there.”

 

Changkyun quietly sipped his coffee and listened to the shining woman.

 

“So you must’ve come here for a reason. Is something bothering you?”

 

He nodded, still silent.

 

“Something happen with Lee Jooheon?”

 

“No no no. Nothing could ever happen. He’s my best friend. We don’t have problems,” he quickly defended.

 

“Hmm. Relationship troubles, then? You’re a good looking boy. I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a lover or two,” she joked lightly, making Changkyun blush.

 

“Yeah. I guess. I was dating someone. Without telling Jooheon. So that’s why I'm here. I don't know what to do right now,” the boy confessed.

 

“Why can’t you tell your friend? Was she someone he liked as well? Is there drama between you three?”

 

“If only that were true. I’d be able to handle that at least,” he finished his coffee and the woman ordered her son to fetch them another.

 

“He’s a singer and is currently promoting his new album. He has a lot of pressure on him and can’t be with me in public. He says that he doesn’t want the media to bother me. Or his small but strong fanbase. That I understand. But then he went on a date with some girl from a pretty well known idol group.”

 

The woman only nodded in understanding as the boy went on with his story.

 

“He said he went out with her that once to test his attraction to girls. Said they didn’t do anything, but you know, it kinda sucks when your boyfriend goes on a date with a girl behind your back because he’s unsure of his sexuality.”

 

Frustration growing, the lady took hold of the boy’s hand and told him to breathe.

 

Finally relaxed again, he continued. “So then the girl’s paparazzi saw them and, of course, like the media does, made a scandal out of it. Now they’re pretending to date until this cools down. Then probably going to stage a break up. I just can’t deal with this. I don’t want to be on the sidelines while his face is plastered on all the online news forums with a girl labeled as his girlfriend. I hate it. It hurts me.”

 

They sat in silence for a moment.

 

“So I broke up with him the night I found out. He blew me off on multiple occasions to be with the girl. I’m so upset and distressed right now. I just want Jooheon to come back home and hang out with me. Keep my mind off of everything.”

 

“Then why don’t you call him?”

 

“He doesn’t know I’m not straight.”

 

“And? You said he’s your best friend. Shouldn't he know something that important?”

 

“That would make things awkward,” he muttered shyly.

 

“Oh?” Her interest was piqued. “What things?”

 

He downed half his cup of coffee. “I really wish we had some alcohol right now. I could do with a few drinks.”

 

She only laughed in response, drinking her cappuccino with grace. “Oh, I can’t wait for my child to grow up a bit. Then maybe the three of us—or four if I ever meet Jooheon—could go out for drinks. But I’m curious, what would get awkward?”

 

Changkyun took a deep breath. “In high school, I lost my parents. Well, I didn’t _lose_ them. They abandoned me. My mom passed away and my dad couldn’t handle me. I was old enough to ‘support myself,’ so he sends me money. Raising me from afar.”

 

Something in Changkyun told him to stop telling this woman every detail about himself, but the majority of him was dying to let it out in some way or another. And this lady was the closest thing he’s had to a mother in years. He couldn’t help but trust her.

 

“I was practically alone after that. For months, at least.”

 

“Then Jooheon came?”

 

“Jooheon had lived next door for a while already. We spoke once or twice, but never really hung out. Until one day months after my parents left me on my own. He marched himself into my house and distracted me from my sorrows. But then we passed out from exhaustion. 

 

“After a bit, I woke up from a nightmare. Since my mom died, I had developed insomnia. Once my dad left, my anxiety got worse. I spent so many nights awake and scared of nothing.”

 

“You say that in past tense. Are you okay now?”

 

“Not exactly. That night when I woke up, Jooheon did too and noticed my fit. He comforted me.” He added weakly, “And we kinda cuddled in bed. Nothing more, nothing less.”

 

He noticed a sly smile grow on the woman’s face but chose to ignore it, already invested in explaining his situation.

 

“After that, he basically became my security blanket. He’s what can make me fall asleep with no problem. He calms me down when I freak out. He’s always there except right now when I need him the most. You know when I started dating my boyfriend, I avoided Jooheon. I couldn’t face him. What if he doesn't want to come over and hold me because he finds out I’m gay? What if I gross him out? What if he gets uncomfortable when I ask him to _platonically_ sleep with me?”

 

He purposefully emphasized the word “platonically.”

 

The woman only sat there blissfully as she finished her drink. “Something tells me that boy would never leave you. I understand where you’re coming from, but don’t let this consume you. If I were you, I’d tell Jooheon right away once he returns. Where is he anyway?”

 

“He’s at his parents for a few days. He invited me, but I—regretfully—said no. I should have gone.”

 

“But then you would still have a boyfriend who wasn’t being truthful with you.”

 

“Oh yeah. Him. He says he’s super sorry and loves me. I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Do you love him?”

 

He hesitated. The boy had not really thought about how he felt about the other, only that he was happy. Did he even love Kihyun?

 

“Maybe?” was all he could muster.

 

“Well maybe you should figure out your own feelings while your on your own these next couple of days. Take some time to be with yourself. Accept, love, and listen to your true self. And if your fears and past are keeping you up at night, feel free to give me a call. I’ll be out making deliveries sometimes, but I can always spare a few minutes to chat.”

 

She offered a sincere smile. Changkyun felt warmth spread from her kindness.

 

“Thanks. I’m not sure how, but I’ll try to figure myself out. I'm coming back if I-“

 

“Come back regardless. Who knows, maybe you could help here as well. It could keep your mind off some things and would help me and my son a lot.”

 

Considering it, Changkyun nodded. “Deal.”

 

His walk back home took longer than he’d thought. Subconsciously, he took a detour while thinking. Thinking a lot. 

 

_What do I really feel?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND is what I want to scream at him. 
> 
> guess who comes home next chapter? ;)))))
> 
> and time is gonna return to the present (AKA ch 7 where jooheon meets kihyun) VERY shortly. 
> 
> just a heads up. <3
> 
> thanks for reading~


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy nuggets, this one's like 52 words short of 2000. 
> 
> BUT OMG YAY I GOT 1000 HITS~ TIME. TO. CELEBRATE. ･:*:･(*/////∇/////*)･:*:･
> 
> OH MY GOD. "NEWTON" MV JUST CAME OUT AND I'M CRYING. THERE'S LIQUID COMING OUT OF MY EYES. THIS IS SO PURE, SO BEAUTIFUL. THESE BOYS NEED TO STOP BEING SLEPT ON. THEY NEED A WIN OR LIKE 80 MILLION.

_A dream._ For the first time in years, Changkyun woke from a dream. Not a nightmare. Not blank sleep. He stirred from his rest with a pleasant feeling, unsure from what because he couldn't remember. All he knew was that familiarity of a dream.

 

But of course, he woke up before the sun even rose. And heard a knock on his front door.

 

“Who the hell would be here at this hour?” He grumbled as he got up for the house’s entrance.

 

“J-Jooheon? Why’d you come back early?”

 

“Is a day early to you? Why the fuck aren’t you answering your phone? I was so fucking worried about you and your stupid ass,” Jooheon rambled angrily as he pulled his friend in for a hug. He didn’t let go.

 

Changkyun forgot about his phone since the day he broke up with Kihyun. He had left it untouched and powered off somewhere in his house. Not wanting to disturb Jooheon ( _read: not wanting to tell Jooheon about Kihyun_ ) or receive any messages or calls from his ex-boyfriend, the boy ignored his phone.

 

“I was—I just—There was no—I forgot about it. I turned it off and got distracted by other things,” he half-lied, trying to convince not only his friend but himself.

 

Jooheon recognized the hesitation in the younger’s voice as a poor attempt to cover something up. He released the other of the hug but firmly clasped his hands on his friend’s shoulders, looking ( _read: glaring_ ) into his eyes.

 

“For five days?” He asked incredulously. “Bullshit. Something happened and you’re not telling me. You’re not planning on telling me. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. I don’t really like swearing, but FUCK. What even am I to you?” 

 

His voice grew exasperated with a hint of hysteria. 

 

“I’m your best friend, yet you’ve been hiding things from me for weeks. No, months. Maybe even years? I don’t know. I’m just so frustrated. You know how scary it is not being able to get ahold of you for FIVE WHOLE DAYS?”

 

Changkyun clamped his eyes shut, unfamiliar with Jooheon’s anger.

 

“I told you that I’m always here. I am, trust me. I just left to see my parents for almost a week and you go M.I.A on me. I thought that maybe you were just taking a break from your phone or, I don’t know, you maybe forgot to charge it for a day or two.”

 

His grip grew in strength, fingers digging into the younger’s skin through his thin t-shirt. Changkyun breathed steadily to avoid showing the pain he felt both physically and emotionally. He wanted to tell Jooheon. He did so much that it was killing him inside.

 

But he couldn’t. And didn’t.

 

“Nothing? You’re just gonna stand there in silence? Why do I feel like I’m being mocked? Is that it? Am I nothing more than just a tool to use when you need me for your fucking anxiety and sleep issues? Well, I’m _sorry_ for being so overbearing and barging in at God knows what hour it is. You know I took a taxi to get here? It was so fucking expensive. I could’ve just waited till morning to take my own car, but I needed to fucking make sure you were okay.”

 

They stood there for a moment without a word. Jooheon removed his hands, turned around, and muttered, “It seems you’re just fine.”

 

It took Changkyun less than five seconds to snap out of whatever daze he was in and grab Jooheon by the wrist. 

 

And it took less than three seconds to pull him close and wrap his arms around the older.

 

It took less than ten seconds after Jooheon’s initial depart for Changkyun to realize he was in love with his best friend.

 

“I’m so sorry. You wouldn’t believe it, but a whole fucking lot of shit went down while you were gone. I didn’t want you worrying, so I tried to handle it on my own. I—“

 

Any words planned to say were lost once Jooheon’s lips began making trails up the younger’s neck, leading to his jaw. He tilted his head, creating more space for the other’s mouth. 

 

“I just—ah—I forgot about m-my phone. I didn’t-didn’t think you’d call before co-coming back,” he could hardly talk around Jooheon’s kisses on his jaw and the other’s hands in his hair.

 

He’s known this boy’s touch for so long, yet he didn’t know it like this.

 

Stepping back, Changkyun shut the door. He led the older to his room, but before they entered, he was pushed against the adjacent wall. 

 

Eyes closed, he reached for the older’s face which was still leaving marks on the younger’s neck and jaw. 

 

“You don’t understand,” Jooheon breathed between kisses, “how fucking worried I was about you.”

 

And with that said, the younger directed the other’s lips to his own in a fierce, passionate manner. Determination and hunger overpowering any reasoning in his mind. 

 

Despite the intensity, Changkyun found the kiss to be very delicate and soft, which perfectly suited how Jooheon took care of him. He realized that this was not just hormones controlling the two of them but something more. 

 

And he let it take over, consume him.

 

He smiled against Jooheon’s lips as an unknown tear spilled from his eye. The older noticed and quickly backed away, shock and concern flashed across his face. 

 

“Oh shit. Shit. Sorry. I don't know what happened. Changkyun, don’t cry. Oh my fucking god. Please don’t cry, I—“

 

The younger smiled again, stepping closer to the confused boy. He let out a soft laugh before snaking his arms around the older’s waist.

 

Jooheon, unsure of what to do anymore, lifted his hands, one around the other’s neck, another to the tear streaked face before him and brushed away a tear. He smiled weakly eyeing the crying boy with caution.

 

Changkyun leaned into the hand caressing his cheek and hummed lightly.

 

“I missed you,” he whispered quietly.

 

“What?” The older asked, naturally leaning in slightly to hear better. 

 

“Hmm,” the boy turned his head a fraction of an inch and kissed the older boy’s wrist. “I said that I missed you,” he spoke a little louder, knowing Jooheon would lean in again. 

 

Taking his chance, he slowly tilted his chin up to meet the older’s lips. 

 

“I hope this doesn’t bother you,” the younger said against the other’s mouth, exchanging breaths. 

 

The older could only moan in response as the other traced his lips with his tongue. Realizing they were still outside of the room, Jooheon pressed himself against the younger, causing the other’s arms to tighten around him, sealing their bodies together.

 

Content with the proximity, the older spun them around and they entered the room. His hand was still on the younger’s cheek, and it remained there. As they kissed, he rubbed his thumb lightly on the other’s face while his other hand gripped fiercely at his nape, keeping them close together.

 

They laid on the bed as they had many times before. This time, hungry lips tasting and eager hands searching. 

 

Changkyun’s fingers teased the exposed skin beneath Jooheon’s shirt as Jooheon’s tongue explored the dip of the other’s collarbone, causing an excited yet surprised hitch of breath from the younger. They both giggled softly at the sound.

 

The younger boy tried to remove the older’s shirt, but his attempted action was put to stop when Jooheon took hold of his hands. He rolled them both over and straddle sat on the younger.

 

“Let’s not do this now,” he spoke in a serious, breathy tone.

 

“What? Why not?” Changkyun felt his heart rate spike even higher than it was probably at in the moment. _Did he just come to his senses? Is he freaked out that I’m doing this? Why is he stopping?_

 

Jooheon noticed the confusion cloud the boy’s face. He repositioned himself next to his friend, interlacing fingers with one of his hands and placing the other across the younger’s chest. Above his heart.

 

“Because if we go any further, I’m afraid I won’t stop,” he growled to Changkyun’s surprise. Beneath his fingers, he could feel the younger’s heart beating faster and his chest rising more rapidly with shortened breaths. 

 

Changkyun closed his eyes. “And what if I don’t want you to stop?”

 

“No. I can’t do that. We’re not dating. We’re just friends. I can’t be that kind of person.”

 

The word _friends_ had never been so bitter than at that moment. For both of them.

 

“Jooheon. I have something I need to tell you.” He fidgeted with Jooheon’s hand that laid on his chest. 

 

“Hmm?” He traced small circles on the hand he was holding.

 

“Um—I-I’ve been—um—I am—I’m g-gay. I didn’t—uh—tell you b-because I thought y-you’d not wanna c-come over in case I—uh—I don’t know, jumped you or something? Like maybe you’d find me g-gross. Um-yeah,” he stuttered as he mustered the courage to tell his friend of years something he should have long ago.

 

“Now why would I ever find you gross? Even if I wasn’t gay, I’d still come over and let you lay in my arms. What kind of friend would drop you for that? Not. Me. We’re in this together, remember? Always and freaking forever. I’m not letting you go. But maybe I should because you can’t seem to trust me with something like your freaking sexuality. Dude, I respect you.”

 

“Wait. Whoa. Wait. What? If you _weren’t_ gay? What the hell do you mean? Are you gay, too? What the fuck…”

 

“Well I didn’t think I was until not too long ago. I never really had an interest in anyone until you. To be honest,” he said with a playful wink. 

 

“Did I just turn you gay?”

 

“Hah! No way. That’s not possible.” Jooheon couldn’t help but laugh at the innocence of his friend. Once he calmed down, he sighed and held the other’s gaze. “Who in the world would leave the comfort of their own bed at insane hours of the night just to be with their friend? Dude. I thought you were smart. Apparently not.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry I’m oblivious to everything.”

 

Jooheon rolled his eyes. “Then let me make it clear for you.” He lifted their interlaced hands to his lips. “I.” _kiss_ “Really.” _kiss_ “Like.” _kiss_ “You.” _kiss_ “Im.” _kiss_ “Changkyunnie.” Lowering their hands, he turned to face the younger. “I have for quite a while and I always will.”

 

Tears began streaming down Changkyun’s face. So many wasted efforts of hiding his true self from such an amazing person who’s liked him for who he was regardless of everything. Wrapping his free hand around the older’s neck, he pulled Jooheon in close. “I think I’m in love with you.”

 

After a long, emotion-filled kiss, the two fell asleep in each other’s embrace, Jooheon cuddling Changkyun from behind and their hands once again interlaced.

 

Some time later, Jooheon woke to a loud knock from the entrance of the house.

 

“Changkyun, wake up. Changkyun, someone’s here. Wake up, sleepy head,” Jooheon rubbed little patterns on the younger’s shoulder, unsure if he should stir him from his deep slumber.

 

After wasted efforts, Jooheon got up from behind the other and headed for the front door. 

 

“Changkyun, I’m sorr— Who are you?” the visitor asked abruptly, something clouding his eyes as his brows scrunched to form a full-faced frown. He was clearly not pleased to see Jooheon answer the door.

 

“No, who are _you?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hay, we're back in present time. ;)  
> Ahhhh more drama~  
> but yay, Jookyun!


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honey is the best kind of medicine.

“I’m Changkyun’s boyfriend. So move aside and let me see him,” Kihyun said with force as he attempted to push past the boy blocking his path.

 

Something didn’t settle right in Kihyun as he took in the sight before him. This strange boy answering _his_ boyfriend’s door, clothes slightly disheveled with obvious bed hair.

 

Betrayal struck deep in his heart and he didn't know if he wanted to confront Changkyun at that moment. As he was about to retreat, the youngest emerged from behind the stranger, peering over his shoulder as he came closer.

 

“Kihyun,” he breathed. “Why are you here? I told you I didn’t want to see you. Please leave.”

 

“Just hear me out. Please.” He paused. “But obviously you’re doing much better,” he sneered half-heartedly, eyeing the two before him. “Maybe you could finally spare me a minute and listen to what I have to say. And why are you getting mad at me for something that never happened, when clearly,” he motioned at the two, “you’re the one who’s got some explaining to do.”

 

With that said, Jooheon snapped his focus to the younger. “What does he mean, cheating? Who is this guy? Is this what you’ve been hiding? Was there more you’re not telling me?”

 

Feeling more and more anxious with each question and pointed gaze that fell upon him, Changkyun naturally and subconsciously reached for his source of comfort, trembling hand gripping onto the other’s shirt in a small bundle.

 

Jooheon considered stepping out of reach of the boy in question, but he decided against it, wanting to put on a show for the stranger claiming to be the younger’s boyfriend. After a few silent moments, Changkyun turned around and retreated back to his room, leaving Kihyun and Jooheon alone.

 

“Um, Kihyun, was it? I’m sorry, but I think you should go for now. I’ll try to talk to him. Maybe you two can talk it out later today? Uh, here’s my number,” Jooheon offered his phone to the older boy to exchange contacts, “in case you can’t reach him. Are you free around 3?”

 

“Uh, sure, thanks?” Kihyun questioned as he got the stranger’s number. “I don’t know who you are to him or why you’re trying to help me, but thanks. Why wait that long, though? It’s hardly seven in the morning.”

 

“I’ve been his neighbor and best friend for years. I know about how long it takes for him to come to his senses. He seems lost and in need of someone to talk to. You two seem like you got issues, but talking it out now while he’s still obviously pissed is not gonna do you any good. It will probably lead to more damage, so I’ll cool him down for now.”

 

Kihyun gave the younger a weak smile. “Are you sure you’re just his friend?”

 

Jooheon knew exactly what the young man meant by that. He was implying there was more to the two’s relationship than he led on. The younger remained silent, eyes avoiding making contact. 

 

“Ah, I see. It’s complicated?” The older searched the other’s eyes for an answer, dropping his gaze to his shoes when he confirmed he wouldn’t get one. “It always is, isn’t it? He’s complicated.”

 

The younger sent a cold stare the other’s way. “Don’t you fucking call him complicated without knowing anything about him,” he defended his best friend. “I’m gonna talk to him now whether you like it or not. If you’re still insistent on apologizing, come back around 3,” he directed before shutting the door.

 

He crawled back into Changkyun’s bed while the younger was in the shower. Falling asleep, his consciousness was stirred as his friend joined him, compacting himself in the older’s arms. “I’m so sorry,” he cried, nuzzling his face into the other’s collar. “I love you, but I don’t know what to do.”

 

Jooheon laid there, feigning sleep as he listened to boy’s cries, knowing full well that a confession would make itself present in no time. He just had to wait and patiently listen. Without saying a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honey, as in Jooheon. ;)


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slow(ish) updates because I'm getting sidetracked by EXO writing competitions that I doubt I'll win but still wanna try and enter.

The boy confessed everything. From his failed date and meeting Kihyun, to Kihyun becoming his boyfriend and then having the scandal with the female idol, to the delivery woman and her son at the cafe. 

 

“Oh, that reminds me,” Changkyun exclaimed as he got out of bed. He returned with a package. “This is for you. She brought it while you were gone. You would love her. We should go to the cafe soon and see her and Lee Chan.”

 

“Changkyun, I’m not doing anything with you until you sort things out with Kihyun. He's adamant about being your boyfriend. Either you need to keep dating him or set things straight and officially break up with him.”

 

The younger cowered, afraid of the inevitable confrontation. He leaned against Jooheon’s chest. “But I don’t know how. I thought I told him. I said I didn’t want him back. Doesn’t that mean I’m breaking up with him?”

 

Jooheon sighed and let out a quiet laugh. “You’re too innocent and naive. You know that, right? Sometimes people need to hear things straight out. Like you. You’re oblivious to _everything,_ so I need to say it directly. I adore you and I want to be with you. See? It’s straightforward and gets to the point,” he said as if he were teaching a class lesson. The boy only blushed in return, ears reddening with the change of topic in their conversation.

 

“But I’m not gonna let myself be with you until all misunderstandings are cleared. Got it? I don’t want to be involved in a drama you create due to your inability to express your feelings. I know, it’s difficult. But you’re gonna have to toughen up and do it. I’ll be with you. Maybe not in the same room, but I’ll be next door, cheering you on,” he continued.

 

“And if you decide you love him and want to be with him, don’t feel bad for me. I’ll be fine. I’ll still come over and try to steal your heart one hundred percent. I know I take up a fraction of your heart, but who knows how much. If you need to stay as friends and be with your boyfriend, I’ll deal with it some way or another,” the older added.

 

“What kind of person are you?” the younger questioned, completely shocked by Jooheon’s words. “What kind of a human would accept it if the one he liked went and fucked another while he was next door?”

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never said _anything_ about that kind of action. You’re a child, you can’t do that with him. Ew. I won’t accept it,” Jooheon joked as he covered his ears. “But seriously, you can date him, but that kind of thing is forbidden. This bed is reserved. For. Me,” his tone shifted to a serious one.

 

Changkyun smiled, wrapping his arms around his friend. “You’re too much, you know that? I love you and only you.”

 

“That’s rude to Kihyun, don't you think? You were dating him perfectly fine until a few days ago. How could you suddenly switch targets to me? Hmm. Something seems off here,” Jooheon eyed the younger with curiosity, purposely phrasing his words to get the other to talk more about his emotions, something that rarely happened. 

 

Changkyun had two methods of avoiding confrontation: distracting himself and shutting down.

 

Jooheon wasn’t going to have any of that before sending the younger off to meet Kihyun. He wanted Changkyun to become stronger so that no one would take advantage of him or manipulate him. Silence and evasiveness made that possible. 

 

“I think I did like him. I still like him, but not in the way that I thought I did. You know, when I saw those articles, I wasn’t entirely sad. I felt sort of…relieved?” he asked himself out loud while attempting to explain to the older. “I hate to say it, but I guess I was glad that I found an excuse,” he locked eyes with Jooheon’s. “An excuse not to lie to you anymore.”

 

He reached up and delicately placed his hand against the older’s cheek. “You don't understand the guilt I felt. I couldn’t see you. I couldn’t bring myself to call you. It just felt…dirty. I didn’t want to explain. I didn’t want to lose you.”

 

Jooheon pressed his forehead against the other’s. “You could never lose me. No matter what, I’m always here, okay? Now, it’s about time you get up and get ready. Prepare yourself to meet Kihyun, alright? I’ll be at my house. Call me when you’re ready. And if you need help getting him out. Just in case. I’ll come running,” he guided the other up, Changkyun a little unwilling to move himself.

 

The younger stopped and pulled Jooheon in once more. “I’m scared.”

 

“Of what?”

 

“That I’ll make a mistake.”

 

“What’s the worst that can happen? You get back together?”

 

Changkyun nodded.

 

“Dude, you’ll win either way. If you make a mistake, you’ll date Kihyun. If you confront him properly, you’ll date me. It’s all in your favor regardless,” he mused.

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t wanna hurt either of you,” he tightened his grip on the older.

 

“Changkyun, think about yourself for once and not about how you’ll come across to others. Please be selfish. For me?” he tried.

 

_Success._

 

“Okay.”

 

Jooheon returned to his house and immediately collapsed on his barren bed, head in hands.

 

“What the hell did I just do?”

 

_I fucking gave up my love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's almost over~
> 
> maybe another 2 to 4 chapters until this fic is complete. ouo
> 
> I'm listening to "strawberry" by subin and it is such a good song. I totally recommend you all listen to it. it's gorgeous.


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, before you start this chapter, remember that this is a JOOKYUN fic, so the changki ship (in this fic) SANK. fast. titanic style. it #RippedIntoPieces and #SankToTheBottom of #TheOcean.
> 
> I just don't want y'all to complain about kyunggie getting over kihyun really quickly. Like, yes, realistically, it should take a bit longer, but remember, changkyun was afraid of ruining his relationship with jooheon, so he hid things like being gay. just in case. cuz i mean, what's the chance that he would like him back? #Low. 
> 
> So while Changkyun was careful not to accept his feelings for his friend, he bumped into kihyun, who confessed and seemed interested. Changkyun DID NOT toy with kihyun. He innocently wanted to better understand the depths of his sexuality and did so through trying to date the boy.
> 
> Throughout their relationship, changkyun grew comfortable in the sense that with kihyun, he was able to be openly gay, be himself, and he DID start feeling romantic feelings for the boy (more than a crush, but less than a lover). but once kihyun wanted to explore his own sexuality (dating the girl that one time then getting into a scandal #oops), changkyun got offended but also found an escape from the relationship that he didnt quite clearly understand.
> 
> Because he loved jooheon all this time but suppressed it to save their friendship. (little does he know that if he had just been upfront about it in the first place, he couldve been on his like, idk, 5th year with the darn boy). 
> 
> oh well. LONG STORY SHORT: pls dont complain or get cranky about changki moments being cut SHORT because this is a JOOKYUN fic. thanks~ enjoy this (most likely) final chapter! :D

Hours later, Jooheon woke to a warm body in his arms. He noted the time, 11:37pm. 

 

_When did I fall asleep?_ he questioned without paying mind to how the other had crept in sometime that evening.

 

He rubbed off the sleep from his eyes as he focused on the peaceful form before him who was staring deep. “So I’m guessing it went well?”

 

The other stirred before slowly, gaze heavy on the elder. A smile spread across Changkyun’s face as he pressed himself closer and nuzzled into the elder’s neck. “Very. We talked. A lot.”

 

“And?”

 

“And we’ll be friends one day. It’d be cool to be friends with a celebrity.” He chuckled softly, but Jooheon noticed a masked sadness.

 

“Was he upset?”

 

“Of course. But more so at himself,” the boy grimaced. “He kept insisting it was his fault. That he was the reason it all went wrong.”

 

“But it’s not,” Jooheon finished.

 

“Yeah. It’s my fault. Everything is,” he choked, wall finally breaking down. The elder thought he heard a sniffle but instead of questioning it, he held the other tighter. “I couldn’t understand things on my own, so I had to bring him down with me in my own realization. I was friends with him before. I guess that’s all we really can be.”

 

The elder felt proud. Not because he could finally claim Changkyun as his own, but because the younger was stronger. In some way or another.

 

He sighed in content as he felt the younger in his embrace.

 

Changkyun breathed out a laugh as he looked up at his friend. “So what now?”

 

“We sleep,” the elder replied simply as if there was no other answer, which earned him an eye roll from the younger, who slipped out from his grip. “Wait, where are you going?”

 

With an overdramatic groan in frustration, Changkyun crossed his arms and pouted, hovering over his friend. “You expect me to sleep?” he asked in feigned disbelief. 

 

Jooheon gawked at the show the other was putting on.

 

“Fine. Then I’m leaving,” the younger huffed, strutting out of the room and turning off the lights, leaving Jooheon alone in the dark.

 

“What a little diva, he is,” Jooheon laughed, throwing his arms above his head on the pillows. _Oh, Kyunggie left his pillow here._

 

With a sigh, he got up and walked into the main part of his house. The scent of cinnamon and sugar filled his senses. “Changkyun?” he asked into the darkness.

 

On the counter before him, a birthday candle fire illuminated a small, freshly baked cake.

 

“What’s this?” Jooheon let out a light laugh.

 

Changkyun wrapped his arms around the elder from behind. “A cake,” he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

 

“Well, of course, dummy. What’s it for?”

 

The younger mumbled something under his breath before leaning in to brush his lips against the crook of the elder’s neck. He uttered some sort of inaudible answer.

 

“What did you say?” Jooheon asked as he craned his neck to eye the boy behind him.

 

“Hmmm, I don’t know,” the younger whined. 

 

The elder chuckled, “I can’t blow out the candle until I know what it’s for.”

 

“What kind of a superstition is that?”

 

“Uh, I don’t really know. People make wishes on their own birthday candles, so I don’t wanna steal anyone’s wish if this isn’t mine. And it’s not even our birthdays, so why the candle? Why did you even bake in my kitchen? You rarely bake and why my kitchen?”

 

Arms tightening around the confused boy, the younger murmured, “It’s for our first day.”

 

Jooheon froze. The boy sensed the tension he just created. _Shit. Dammit. I knew this was too freaking much. Oh my god. I can just—_

 

Thoughts vanished as the elder swiftly turned in place and snatched the younger into his arms. “Say that again,” he said in ecstatic disbelief. “Tell me what you just said but louder. Say it,” he commanded.

 

“First day. I made it for our first day,” the younger grumbled a few decibels louder.

 

“First day of what?” Jooheon prodded, Changkyun turned redder, flustered by his sudden confession.

 

“Dating,” he added quietly, face flushed pink.

 

A slow, steady smile grew on Jooheon’s lips as he stared at the boy in front of him. “Freaking finally, Kyunggie.”

 

Cake forgotten, Changkyun closed his eyes and drifted forward, lips gently meeting lips. Jooheon caressed the younger’s jaw with one hand and held the boy firmly around the waist with the other. 

 

Intoxicated with the sweetness of the kiss, Changkyun found himself growing lightheaded and dizzy with each soft touch delivered by his friend. He felt sheltered and loved, more than ever before.

 

The younger recognized certain feelings deep inside him to be ones that frequented his mind over the years but he learned to push away. Out of misunderstanding. Out of confusion. Out of fear.

 

But this time he permitted, actually encouraged, these emotions to consume him, realizing that there was nothing to be scared of anymore. Jooheon wouldn’t leave him, wouldn’t reject him. His friend loved him unconditionally. As he did his friend.

 

Faint traces of sweet, spicy cinnamon were noticed on the younger’s soft lips, dominating all of Jooheon’s senses. Their kiss broke as he grinned against the other’s honeyed mouth. 

 

Changkyun hummed in concern at the other’s sudden action.

 

Jooheon traced his tongue around the younger’s lips. “Mmm. Cinnamon’s now my favorite, I think,” he giggled.

 

The other burned crimson, remembering taste-testing the cake as he worked on it.

 

“How about we eat that cake now?” Jooheon suggested, head nodding behind him to the neglected pastry.

 

Changkyun sheepishly looked over the elder’s shoulder at his abandoned masterpiece, candle still ablaze.

 

“You know, that could become a fire hazard. You’d be to blame for arson. How would you take responsibility?” the elder joked over their shared piece of cake. “Would you tell the police that you were baking a cake for your first day with your boyfriend? Would you even be able to? You could hardly tell me, your boyfriend.”

 

_Boyfriend._ Changkyun gazed at his _boyfriend_ in adoration. He picked up his fork and fed a small bite to the elder. “I don’t know if this is too fast, but fuck, I love you.”

 

“I would find that sweet, but I find the swear unnecessary,” he teased. The younger rolled his eyes. Jooheon leaned over the counter to peck the other on the cheek. “But I love you, too. So much, you have no idea.”

 

They drunkenly smiled at each other for a long time as they finished the cake.

 

Jooheon yawned, realizing the time. “Dude, I gotta sleep.”

 

Disappointment flooded the younger’s pouted expression.

 

“Come join me?” he smirked.

 

Changkyun bit his lip and nodded, following after the elder.

 

“You think you can sleep tonight?” Jooheon asked the younger, who was tucked in his embrace.

 

Changkyun nodded, nuzzling beneath the elder’s chin. “As long as you’re here,” he answered slowly, sleep already heavy in his voice.

 

Jooheon squeezed the resting boy in his arms, kissing the top of his head. He whispered, “I’m always here,” before joining the other in deep, blissful slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is it. lol
> 
> possibility of an epilogue or just a special chapter if something comes to mind.
> 
> I hope I didn't just disappoint everyone. heh. ಠ_ಥ

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading~ (/ω＼) 
> 
> I tried. ง •̀_•́)ง
> 
> Edit: This oneshot turned into a full blown drama. I'm shook.


End file.
